I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
