You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
