Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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