After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
