I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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