Me. At least after what I've been through.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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