I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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