take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
