Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
