i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He felt like a one man threesome
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
