As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
