We're like a lot better than the average bears
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize