sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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