never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I fill condoms, not promises.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
