I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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