Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
