we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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