so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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