so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she peed on how many people?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize