My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
