it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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