My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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