How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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