ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
