Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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