oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Michael Bay diarrhea
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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