She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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