Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
