the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
