I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
