guys are not supposed to queef...right?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
