I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
