its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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