well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
