Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
