opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
