He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
