I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
