Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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