I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
