Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
