i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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