Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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