i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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