dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
