I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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