For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
