just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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