were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
