I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
