After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
