Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So many bounce houses so little time
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
