I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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