So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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