There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
