I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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