Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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