I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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