I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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