Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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