That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i barfeds in our rink
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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