who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
