Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
