do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
