6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
