READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize