he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
the day after is always just damage control
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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